Sports Rubbish » Soccer

Fox Soccer welcomes you to Swansea… England? (Photo)

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Manchester United are visiting Swansea City today, with the match being shown live on Fox Soccer.

Much of the pre-match talk was relating to Swansea being in Wales, but nobody mentioned this little geographical fact to whoever was in charge of the graphics. Or that person just refuses to recognize any level of Welsh sovereignty. ENNNGALAAND!

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England U-21 team practices kicking balls into the faces of their teammates (Video)

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 04:17:38 +0000

Fabrice Muamba has fantastic aim, provided that he was intending to do that to poor Jason Steele during training with England’s U-21 team for the European Championships.

Keep in mind that this isn’t some fan or member of the media who posted a slow-motion video replay of an English player getting nailed in the face with the ball on YouTube; it’s an official video from the FA, who have decided to embarrass their players rather than advancing in the tournament.

If the England U-21 team had spent more time kicking balls into nets rather than into the faces of their teammates, perhaps they would not have been bounced from Euro 2011 2-1 by the Czech Republic. Well done lads, indeed.

England U-21 perfects shot off the post and into teammate’s face [Dirty Tackle]

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Gary Neville’s first pitch at White Sox game shows why soccer players don’t use their hands [Video]

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 18:59:04 +0000

Manchester United ambassador Gary Neville visited Chicago on Thursday to promote Man U’s upcoming tour of the United States. Neville threw out the first pitch at U.S. Cellular Field prior to the game between the White Sox and A’s.

And throw it he did, with such gusto that would send Rick Ankiel into a fetal position, shivering.

While Neville did nearly injure several women standing near the backstop, he did at least get his toss in the same area code as home plate. And yes, this means it’s time to watch the legendary ceremonial first pitch from the Mayor of Cincinnati, Mark Mallory.

Gary Neville threw an awful first pitch at a White Sox game [Dirty Tackle]

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Sepp Blatter Invites Placido Domingo & Henry Kissinger To Help FIFA

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 05:24:13 +0000

Beleaguered FIFA President Sepp Blatter knows he has an image problem. So who better to call on to help him out than Placido Domingo and Henry Kissinger?

The details of Sepp Blatter’s announcement, from The Guardian:

“These gentlemen are more or less advisers, they are not the experts but advisers and what they should be also is the kind of council of wisdom which my executive committee would not like because they think they are the council of wisdom, but I have also contacted the Spanish singer,” he told CNN, before appealing to his interviewer to recall the name.

Prompted, Blatter continued: “Plácido Domingo will be part … he is happy, he is proud that he is part … as [Dr Henry] Kissinger also! People say he is an old man but he is a wise man.”

Perhaps Blatter thinks that if he can’t remember a person’s name, then that person can’t be bribed. As for Kissinger, he does have past experience with bloated, pompous soccer organizations, as he once served on the Board of Directors for the North American Soccer League.

While Domingo and Kissinger have not yet officially signed on to be part of the Council of the Wise, let’s look into the crystal ball to see some of their suggestions to improve FIFA:

Future World Cup host countries will be determined through an opera singing competition called “Aria Idol”. Luciano Pavarotti mysteriously becomes a citizen of Qatar.
All national representatives who speak out against FIFA will “disappear”, especially if they are from South America.
The offside rule will be relaxed during an upcoming friendly. During the match, all shots sent into Cambodian territory by the United States will be deemed onside.
Goal line technology will still not be installed.

Sepp Blatter wants singer Plácido Domingo to join Fifa’s wise men [The Guardian]

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Japanese Soccer Team Takes On 100 Kids [Video]

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 03:57:58 +0000

Sure, one hundred kids taking on a team of Japanese professional soccer players seems a bit crazy, but is it any worse than Bob Bradley’s strategy of zero defenders taking on a team of Spanish professional soccer players?

Japanese Soccer Team Versus 100 Kids [reddit]

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Landon Donovan goal sends USA on in World Cup 2010 (Video)

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:46:12 +0000

Enjoy!

The USA missed chance after chance, plus had yet another goal waved off, but Landon Donovan finally put the ball in the net in the 91st minute against Algeria to send the USA on to the next round.

Great work by Tim Howard to start the break, and by Jozy Altidore for continuing it.

My heart should start beating again any time now, hopefully in time for the U.S. to play again on Saturday.

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French journalist drops f-bomb live on ESPN with Bob Ley (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:03:46 +0000

The French soccer team has continued its slow implosion at the World Cup in South Africa, providing hours of entertainment from both the team itself and the journalists who are trying to cover the big story.

Following coach Raymond Domenech’s dismissal of Nicolas Anelka from France’s squad, things have only gotten worse. His French teammates have shown an unsurprising lack of respect for Domenech, refusing to practice as they head toward their final group match against the host nation.

ESPN just aired an interview with Erik Bielderman of L’Equipe. Bielderman might not quite have a grasp on what one is allowed to say on live television in the United States, as he provided a direct, uncensored quote of what Anelka had said to Domenech to earn his dismissal from the team.

Bielderman said live on air, “Go to f— yourself, you son of a bitch.”

Bob Ley covered well for the swearing, apologizing for the frankness, while thanking him for being direct in the quotation.

Meanwhile, all of Ireland must be uttering those same words thanks to the French squandering this World Cup opportunity that they were lucky to even have in the first place.

Video HT: The Big Lead

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Mozambique Goalkeeper Faceplant Fail – Africa Cup of Nations 2010 (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 06:01:29 +0000

Come for the soccer, stay for the preschool-level gymnastics!

The Africa Cup of Nations is underway, and based on this video of the Mozambique goalie flipping face first over the ball rather than securing it, it appears to be the only major soccer tournament to take place using a ball filled with lead.

Somehow the goalkeeper managed to dive back to the ball after missing it, but the teammate who met him there surely wanted to kick the guy’s face in for flailing about the place like that. There must be better ways to showboat and show your general lack of respect for gravity.

And for your enjoyment, another angle:

Soccer goalie faceplants as he picks up simple kick [Bare Knucks]
Soccer goalie flips over for no reason [With Leather]

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Landon Donovan Mexican lottery commercial (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 05:33:26 +0000

I always thought Landon Donovan was hated with a vengeance south of the border, but apparently he is liked well enough that he was hired to appear in this Mexican lottery ad.

The commercial is for Ganagol, a game in which players pick the winners of soccer matches. Donovan, dressed up in the most stereotypical Mexican costume ever, attempts to sneak over the border to play the lottery, with less than successful results.

A translation of the video can be found below (thanks to purojogo at Big Soccer):

Crossing guard: “Stop right there!”
LD: “I am Mexican!” (pronounced erroneously)
Crossing guard: “Clearly not, you are..Landon Donovan”
LD: “Oh” (no Emmy or Oscars coming anytime soon LD )
Crossing guard: “What are you doing on this side?” (of the border)
LD: “It’s just that… winning in Mexico is easier”
Crossing guard: (angry voice) WHAT??!?
LD: No, no I am talking about Ganagol…
Crossing guard: Ganagol?
LD: Ganagol the new quiniela* where it’s easier to win because they are only twelve matches
Crossing guard : So it will be easier for ME, NOT for you, so go home, orale**, let’s go!
LD: Lero***….
Announcer: New “quiniela ganagol” from Televisa Deportes/Sports

*quiniela is like a sports lottery (choose home team to win/away team to win/or draw … as LD said in this case from 12 matches….)
** orale would be like “come on!”
*** lero : if one adds “cu” to the beginning of this word, it becomes an insult, akin to a#%hole….. heard in Mexican stadia/from Mexican fans as well if my ears do not deceive me…..so LD must be familiar with it…..

Perhaps such games will be legal in the United States someday. Until then, Pete Rose will sit by the phone hoping Mexico creates a similar lottery for baseball.

HT: @JonahKeri

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Iranian soccer official loses job thanks to New Year’s e-mail to Israel

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 05:04:48 +0000

Every office has one idiot who sends out e-mails to huge mailing lists without checking to see if all of the recipients actually need to be receiving that e-mail.

In Iran, that guy is Mohammad-Mansour Azimzadeh Ardebili, director of the Iranian soccer league’s foreign relations office. Ardebili’s office sent out a New Year’s greeting to every country that belongs to FIFA, which sounds like a nice gesture. Unfortunately for Ardebili, Iran does not recognize the existence of Israel, one of the recipients of the e-mail. Oy vey!

Unlike Ardebili’s New Year’s greetings to Narnia, Atlantis, and Middle Earth, the e-mail to Israel presumably did not bounce back as an invalid address, which must have been quite the surprise.

“It was a big mistake sending an e-mail to Israel’s football federation,” Ali Kaffashian, president of the Iran Football Federation, said in a statement carried by the semi-official Mehrs News Agency. “However, I am sure the director of the foreign relations office didn’t do it on purpose.”

That didn’t keep Ardebili from resigning. One errant e-mail, and there goes your job. If only it was that easy to get rid off mass e-mailers in this country.

Iran soccer chief apologizes for Israel greeting [CNN]

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