Sports Rubbish » English Premier League

Fox Soccer welcomes you to Swansea… England? (Photo)

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Manchester United are visiting Swansea City today, with the match being shown live on Fox Soccer.

Much of the pre-match talk was relating to Swansea being in Wales, but nobody mentioned this little geographical fact to whoever was in charge of the graphics. Or that person just refuses to recognize any level of Welsh sovereignty. ENNNGALAAND!

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Gary Neville’s first pitch at White Sox game shows why soccer players don’t use their hands [Video]

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 18:59:04 +0000

Manchester United ambassador Gary Neville visited Chicago on Thursday to promote Man U’s upcoming tour of the United States. Neville threw out the first pitch at U.S. Cellular Field prior to the game between the White Sox and A’s.

And throw it he did, with such gusto that would send Rick Ankiel into a fetal position, shivering.

While Neville did nearly injure several women standing near the backstop, he did at least get his toss in the same area code as home plate. And yes, this means it’s time to watch the legendary ceremonial first pitch from the Mayor of Cincinnati, Mark Mallory.

Gary Neville threw an awful first pitch at a White Sox game [Dirty Tackle]

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Robin van Persie to have a placenta rubbed on his injured ankle

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:22:28 +0000

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Arsenal striker Robin van Persie must be pretty desperate to return to the pitch after tearing ligaments in his ankle.

In order to speed up his recovery, Van Persie will be having a placenta rubbed on the injury.

The treatment allegedly worked for one soccer player, though in the absence of further medical studies, let’s chalk that up to a coincidence. Still, van Persie is undeterred.

Van Persie: “I will fly to the Balkans to meet with a female doctor who helped [PSV Eindhoven midfielder] Danko Lazovic. She is vague about her methods but I know she massages you using fluid from a placenta. I am going to try. It cannot hurt and, if it helps, it helps. I have been in contact with Arsenal physiotherapists and they have let me do it.”

Who needs science when you can just have some random Serbian woman rub a placenta on your injury? Arsenal must be trusting if they’re going to let their star go to a woman who is “vague about her methods,” but then again, it’s not as if doing this could really make the injury any worse. It will just make Robin van Persie look like an nut.

Arsenal’s Robin van Persie to soothe ankle pains with placenta massage [Guardian.co.uk]
Van Persie visiting Serbian healer [Soccernet]

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Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich spent $52,000 on lunch

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:53:18 +0000

We all know that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich is an insanely rich man. The staff at Nello’s in New York City found out just how rich when he and a few friends visited their restaurant for lunch today. The total tab, including tip: Over $52,000.

In one lunch bill, Roman Abramovich dropped what median American makes in almost 2 years.

The group bought several bottles of wine that were $5,000 each. Other items purchased included $36 rigatoni & $15 tiramisu. Oddly, since these are dishes regular folks like us would typically purchase, they are the things that stand out as overpriced.

But hey, it’s his money. And Abramovich did tip very well, adding an additional $5,000 to the $7,328.20 (20%) that was on the bill. Not a bad day at all for the lucky staff who got to take that home. You just know though that there’s some poor guy who called in sick and missed out on that nice payday.

Russian Billionaire Blows $52,000 on Lunch [TMZ]

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Barnsley fans score a goal against Manchester United, whose own fans robbed a food stand

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:04:39 +0000

The Carling Cup match between Barnsley and Manchester United featured a result you would expect. But while Man U won 2-0, the best action involved the fans.

In the closing minutes these two fans in the video below combined to strip Manchester United goalkeeper Ben Foster and put the ball in the back of the net with a nice volley.

It’s sad when the players who are on the team are unable to do the same.

A total of eight fans were arrested before, during, and after the match. This includes two people who stood on a railway line, forcing trains to stop.

Several Manchester United fans also broke in to a food kiosk, trapping staff members inside while stealing money from the cash registers and taking all of the food.

Okay, so it wasn’t quite all of the food. Someone appears to have left behind about 3/4ths of a pie. On the bright side, the staff members had nothing to put a way at the end of the night and didn’t have to worry about counting up their sales.

Police arrest eight at Man United-Barnsley match [Reuters]
VIDEO: Barnsley fan scores against Manchester United [101 Great Goals]

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In An Effort To Stop Swine Flu, Soccer Players Told To Stop Spitting On The Ground

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:17:32 +0000

H1N1 panic is spreading the globe, and soccer is not immune. Several players have been infected, so naturally everyone is freaking out that a widespread outbreak would wreak havoc on league fixtures. A match between Marseille and Paris Saint-Germain was canceled over the weekend after 3 PSG players got swine flu.

With everyone worried about the sickness, Britain’s Health Protection Agency (HPA) is calling for players to stop spitting on the ground, which they say could spread the virus.

The spokesman for the HPA said:

“Spitting is disgusting at all times.

“It’s unhygienic and unhealthy, particularly if you spit close to other people.

“Footballers, like the rest of us, wouldn’t spit indoors so they shouldn’t do it on the football pitch.

“If they are spitting near other people it could certainly increase the risk of passing on infections.

Certainly, spitting is a nasty habit that should be discouraged – and it should be discouraged by the clubs.

“It’s about setting examples for young people who idolise them.”

In addition to spitting, here are some other things the HPA would like banned from soccer in order to stop swine flu:

Kissing

Heading the ball

David Beckham

Footballers Warned Against Spitting As Swine Flu Fear Thickens [Goal.com]

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Worst Ball Boy Ever: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:23:34 +0000

Even though the standard for ball boys in England’s Conference National can’t be all that high, this guy won’t be receiving any invitations to be one any time soon after falling headfirst over a barrier chasing a loose ball during a match between Hayes & Yeading & York City. With 3 teams playing in one match though, it’s understandable that fans might get a little bit confused and light-headed.

Going… going… gone! (Hayes & Yeading v York City) [101 Great Goals]

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West Ham Player Calum Davenport Stabbed

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 03:43:10 +0000

West Ham’s Calum Davenport was the victim of a vicious stabbing attack over the weekend that has left his career in jeopardy.

The stabbing appears to have stemmed from a family squabble involving his pregnant sister’s boyfriend.

Davenport allegedly criticized some of the people his sister was hanging out with. They returned later, stabbing both him and his mother. Calum was stabbed 5 or 6 times. Both are expected to survive, but the soccer player’s leg, and obviously his career are in jeopardy. He suffered severed wounds to an artery in his leg, losing half of his blood, and could lose his leg as well.

Two men have been accused of the crime, including Worrell Whitehurst, Calum Davenport’s sister Cara’s boyfriend.

A truly tragic story. A brother tries to protect his sister, with good reason it seems considering this attack took place at 5 in the morning after Whitehurst had allegedly been out drinking, and ends up seriously injured with his career in the balance as a result.

The saddest thing for Calum? His sister’s message to her boyfriend during his court appearance for charges of causing grievous bodily harm with intent today: “I love you.”

Knifed Premiership ace ‘may lose a leg’ [The Sun]

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The BBC’s “Football League Show”: Come For The Soccer Highlights, Stay For The Girl Sitting On A Toilet

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:39:40 +0000

The BBC debuted a new soccer highlights show over the weekend called Football League Show.

Their first airing contained an odd addition: A 38-second video clip of Kate Bosworth sitting on a toilet.

This was either an accident, an intentional PR ploy, or some deep-meaning statement regarding the quality of play from Torquay and Chesterfield.

BBC presents highlights of Chesterfield v Girl on a Toilet [Dirty Tackle]

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Harry Potter Look-A-Likes In The Sports World

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:48:46 +0000

With the latest installment of the Harry Potter movie series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, opening in theaters today, it’s a perfect time to take a look at some character look-a-likes from the world of sports. Some characters were hard to find decent matches for, while other doppelgangers were immediately apparent.

The Main Characters

Ricky Rubio and Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe)

Shaun White and Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint)

Sasha Cohen and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson)

Everyone Else

Steve Nash and Professor Severus Snape (Alan Rickman)

Khalil Greene and Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton)

Phil Jackson and Professor Albus Dumbledore (Michael Gambon)

Andy Reid, Mike Holmgren and Uncle Vernon Dursley (Richard Griffiths)

Logan Mankins and Rubeus Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane)

Jake Plummer and Sirius Black (Gary Oldman)

Wayne Rooney and Vincent Crabbe (Jamie Waylett)

Sam Cassell and Dobby The House Elf

Clay Zavada and Nearly Headless Nick (John Cleese)

Got any other good Harry Potter look-a-likes? Post them in the comments below.

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