Sports Rubbish » Horse Racing

Jockey Falls Off Horse, Horse Finishes First: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:57:46 +0000

Those of you who believe that jockeys don’t really do anything during a horse race have more ammunition for your argument.

During the 5th race at Belmont Park on Saturday, Phone Jazz threw her rider, Jean-Luc Samyn, at the start. Phone Jazz kept running, and managed to outrun the rest of the field.

While Phone Jazz did cross the finish line first, the result of course did not count, since there’s some silly rule that says each horse must have a tiny man on its back for the entire race.

Horse Dumps Jockey, Finishes First [Fanhouse]

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Comedian Frank Mirahmadi Calls Entire Horse Race Using Impressions: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:30:47 +0000

Comedian & impressionist Frank Mirahmadi doubles as the announcer at Turf Paradise in Phoenix, Arizona. During the recent Hasta La Vista Handicap, Mirahmadi called the entire race using impressions, almost 2 dozen different people in all.

Some of the impressions are definitely spot on, others less so, and others might be spot on if you’re 70 years old and have any idea who the people are.

Here’s the complete list of impressions Mirahmadi did during the call of the race:

Marv Albert
Tony Calo
Mark Johnson
Richard Grunder
Michael Wrona
Larry Collmus
Keith Jones
Dick Stockton
Jack Buck
Hank Stram
Phil Georgeff
Dave Johnson
Robert DeNiro
Marlon Brando
Andy Rooney
D. Wayne Lukas
Mike Battaglia
Vic Stauffer
Rodney Dangerfield
Trevor Denman
Ed Burgart

With Frank Caliendo losing much of his material due to John Madden & George W. Bush disappearing from the spotlight, as well as losing his job with Frank TV, let’s hope he doesn’t see this and get any bright ideas.

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Jockey Suspended After Giving Female Colleague Condom Filled With Urine

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 14 May 2009 06:33:36 +0000

If, during any scheme, someone tells you to tuck a urine-filled condom under your arm, you might want to rethink whether or not this is a plan you want to participate in before you continue.

Australian jockey Dale Evans has been suspended for 18 months after conspiring with female jockey Donna Carrigg to help her pass a drug test. The plan centered around him giving her his urine to pass off as her own.

The ruse did not work, and stewards at Callaghan Park in Rockhampton, Australia found Carrigg carrying “in the arm of her riding jacket a tied condom filled with urine and containing a sharpened lollypop stick.” That is the worst flavor of lollipop ever.

The idea was that “the sharpened stick, when pressed, would perforate the condom so the urine would freely run into the testing container kit.”

After being handed the condom, Carrigg began to realize this might not be the best idea and said “I don’t really want to do this,” which is the reaction that most women have when you give them a bag of your urine.

She claimed she was getting rid of the device, but was unable to do so before she was caught with it.

Dale Evans’ punishment would have been severe to begin with, but racing authorities were angered by his failure to be honest with them.

Michael Halliday, the adjudicating steward, said to Evans, “Your lack of co-operation was a deliberate attempt to frustrate stewards and nullify their duties in drug-testing. I do not accept it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to manufacture the instrument. I want like-minded people such as yourself to know that in racing this conduct will not be tolerated and therefore I impose a disqualification of 18 months.”

As for Donna Carrigg, she had previously received a year ban for her role in the cheating attempt, as well as for testing positive for amphetamine and methamphetamine when officials got her real urine from her. Carrigg blamed the positive test on spiked drinks she’d had the night before. That’s what you get for going to Methy’s Bar & Grill.

Next time just give the drugs to the horses like normal cheaters. They’re the ones doing all the running anyway.

Evans disqualified for urine swap [The Morning Bulletin]
Carrigg’s attempt to foil drug test fails [The Morning Bulletin]

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BBC Sportscaster Gets In Trouble For Making Fun Of Jockey’s Teeth: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 05:22:23 +0000

The BBC has been forced to apologize after one of its presenters, Clare Balding, made fun of jockey Liam Treadwell’s teeth.

Treadwell had just won the biggest race of his life, the famed Grand National, on the back of a horse that had 100-1 odds.

Balding said to Treadwell, “Give us a big grin to the camera. No let’s see your teeth. He hasn’t got the best in the world but you can afford to go and get them done now.”

Someone named “Balding” really shouldn’t be making fun of anyone’s physical differences.

The BBC apology statement read: “Clare Balding had no intention whatsoever of upsetting or embarrassing Liam Treadwell, but she fully accepts that she should not have raised the subject with him at that time.”

Or how about any time? Unless you’re a dentist, it’s not a good idea to be telling someone they really should get some dental work done.

After receiving an apology from Balding, Liam Treadwell said, “”Of course it was the wrong thing for her to say, and under normal circumstances I might have said something back, but yesterday wasn’t a normal day.”

As for what he would have said, one can only assume it would have had something to do with her getting some surgery of her own done.

BBC apologizes over jokes about jockey’s teeth [Reuters]

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Thoroughbred Race Horses From Northern Ireland Are Being Eaten

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 06:14:34 +0000

Retired athletes have it tough. Once they are out of the spotlight, most are forgotten. Those from previous eras didn’t make much money, or weren’t able to save enough to cover their medical bills.

However, all of those athletes should be very thankful that they aren’t race horses from Northern Ireland.

An investigation by BBC Northern Ireland’s Season Ticket found that former thoroughbred race horses from NI are ending up on dinner plates in other parts of Europe.

In the souring economy, the value of some horses has plummeted. As a result, it’s no longer deemed worth it to take care of some horses once their racing careers are over.

According to animal welfare official Barbara Bent from the Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals said the decline in value of horses was leading to “welfare problems”.

“If an animal is very valuable, then he’ll be looked after. That’s where the industry has found itself now,” said Bent.

While Americans might scoff at the notion of eating horses, horse meat is consumed in several places around the world. But there’s another issue. Most race horses are treated with drugs at some point. Those drugs are not ones that humans should be consuming.

While there is a passport system for horses, these passports don’t guarantee that the horse is fit for human consumption.

Equine veterinary surgeon Bruce Steele said, “If a veterinary surgeon treats a horse with any substance, that has to be entered in the passport, with the reason for the administration, the (name of the) drug and how much was administered. That horse wouldn’t be allowed into the food chain but there’s no guarantee those details will be in the passport.”

Mmm… horse. Maybe drugs help make horse meat tastier, just like Valium is the secret ingredient for any good burger recipe. The next time there is a Barbaro, everyone can just have a good BBQ instead of a funeral.

NI horses ‘being eaten’ in Europe [BBC]

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Female Jockey Attacks Soldier With Pint Glass

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:35:00 +0000

In a case currently going through the Scottish legal system, jockey Jenny Riding admitted to attacking soldier Stewart McEwan with a glass after he swore at her and called her a smackhead.

Clearly it was just a misunderstanding – she just thought he said “smack me in the head repeatedly with a pint glass” and was merely complying with his request.

Not surprisingly, the incident was caused by both parties having had a few too many drinks. Of course, for a jockey with a Napoleon complex, a few too many = any.

If you have noticed by this point what this jockey’s name is, you are not the only one. Her attorney made sure everyone was aware, saying “She is a jockey – which is not a joke given her surname.” Okay then, so she’s not using the old “pretend I’m a jockey so I can glass people whenever I want” defense. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Lawyer Guy.

So there’s your lesson for the day: Never call a female jockey a smackhead, or else she might just attack you with a glass. Anybody who watches The Simpsons knows those jockeys are not to be messed with.

Jockey severely injured soldier (BBC News Scotland)

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Horse Goes On Rampage at British Horse Show

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 07 May 2008 06:41:00 +0000

Over the past few days, PETA has quite vocally condemned the death of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby.

Many have cried, “Who will stick up for these poor innocent horses?”

There is a much darker side to this tale. These supposedly defenseless animals do not need your sympathy. They are quite capable of are taking matters into their own hooves.

At a heavy horse show in Hampshire, England, a horse bolted while parading and rampaged through a crowd of people, doubtlessly seeking revenge for Eight Belles’ death.

Witness Alan East said: “You could see the horse didn’t look happy as it was being paraded around, it was kicking out. Then it careered off round the field and suddenly crashed through a fence and it was away. People were screaming as they saw it coming.”

Six people total were injured, including a pregnant woman who went into shock and two bystanders who suffered broken ankles and were ~~euthanized~~ taken to the hospital.

For those keeping score, that’s 2 broken ankles for humans, and 2 broken ankles for horses in this week of bloodshed. When will this senseless cycle of violence end? And which side will the centaurs be on?

Six hurt as horse bolts at crowd (BBC News)

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If you are sick of Barbaro, just keep scrolling

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 05:58:00 +0000

So Barbaro has finally been euthanized.

I’ve been one of the few people out there who wasn’t sick of the story. Yes, the story did go on for too long. Were it not for the possibility of a huge financial payoff, Barbaro probably wouldn’t have made it away from Pimlico. The possibility of a huge financial payoff undoubtedly kept Barbaro from being put down. This post is something that I should have been writing in May.

The day that Barbaro broke down in the Preakness was the same day that Barry Bonds hit #714. I know which one I will remember more.

I’ll admit it, I teared up a little when I saw Edgar Prado’s reactions that day. The possibility of death is not something we should have to deal with in sports, but unfortunately, there are times when that is not always the case.

It’s not often that it happens in sports where humans are the competitors. There have been cases in auto racing, such as Dale Earnhardt’s death at Daytona. Other sports have also experienced loss during the game. There are other career-ending incidents that will stay forever in our minds, like LT’s hit on Joe Theismann.

We’ll never know what Barbaro could have done. Perhaps the Triple Crown was possible. Perhaps even a healthy Barbaro would have lost. I do know that I will always remember the saddness of watching that last race.

No athlete should be disposable. Yet for some reason, people are quick to dismiss racing animals. Why should they receive only a couple of minutes of our attention? Why should they not receive the same attention that a human would have? If they are worthy of our bets, then they should also receive attention beyond that. Horses are just as much of athletes as anybody else that we watch.

Today, horse racing lost a great one. The video above is of Barbaro’s victory in last year’s Kentucky Derby. Watch Barbaro blow past the field, and be happy that I didn’t choose the video I found on Youtube that is set to Michael Bolton.

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