Sports Rubbish » Other Sports

Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm charged with drunkenly assaulting cab driver (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 05:26:55 +0000

Remember Paul Hamm? That gymnast you were subjected to watching while you hoped NBC would show some other sport during the 2004 Olympics? Hamm is currently serving as a gymnastics coach at Ohio State, and he’s been charged with trying to start a new sport: Assaulting a taxi driver and refusing to pay for his ride.

According to Columbus police:

After an argument, Hamm damaged a window of the cab, punched and kicked [the driver].

The driver called police and when they arrived, police said they struggled to get Hamm under control.

In video released by police, Hamm is heard talking with a police officer.

“All the sudden looking at my wallet and I’m looking at a situation, I don’t have my ID,” Hamm said.

The officer then replied, “That’s cause I have it man. You gave it to me less than 5 minutes ago.”

When the officer asked Hamm how many drinks he had consumed, Hamm said he had “probably 8 drinks.”

During the arrest, an officer on the scene used his police radio to call for assistance. The officers tried to gain control of Hamm. Hamm is heard on the video saying, “You guys are so funny. You guys have no idea. I’m going to kill you guys.”

In a world where at least a couple of pro athletes are nabbed for drunk driving every week, it’s great that Hamm knew enough to call a cab. But if drunk celebrities are going to keep attacking Ohio’s transportation operators, eventually we’ll hear about a sloshed Betty White stabbing a blimp pilot.

Former Olympian, Current Ohio State Asst. Gymnastics Coach Arrested After Assault [10TV]

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Canadian skier suffers road rash to his buttocks after getting dragged by party bus

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 04:44:37 +0000

Canadian Olympic skier and World Cup champion Manuel Osborne-Paradis is set to star in the sequel to Terrance and Phillip’s “Asses of Fire”, “Asses of Fire 2: Party Bus Boogaloo”, following a successful audition during the recent Calgary Stampede.

From the Vancouver Sun:

Osborne-Paradis, 27, is recovering in hospital from “severe road rash to his buttocks” after he climbed onboard a moving party bus along a major thoroughfare in Calgary, lost his balance and fell on the trailer hitch.

He was dragged about 80 metres before the bus stopped.

No part of that sounds pleasant. But hey, if you’re going to get dragged across the pavement for 80 yards on your ass, you might as well do it in a country that has universal health care.

To add insult to ass injury, Osborne-Paradis’ sponsors, including Harbour Air Seaplanes, are now reviewing their deals with the skier.

Rather than making a rash decision and dropping him, I would instead suggest that they make Manuel the centerpiece of a new campaign. “Bus travel has you worn down? Go by seaplane instead!”

B.C. airline to review sponsorship of local skier following Stampede antics [The Vancouver Sun]

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Bull takes down streaker at Running of the Bulls (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 23:59:33 +0000

There are plenty of normal activities that suddenly become a lot more dangerous when you do them naked, such as cooking, ironing, and carpentry.

But what happens when you combine an already-dangerous activity like running around with bulls with nudity? Well, just watch the genius above.

The best thing about streaking and getting taken down by a bull is that your ability to reproduce is lost so much more efficiently with no pesky clothing to get in the way.

WIN: Bull Crushes Streaker [The Score]

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Move over Tour de France, it’s the Tour de Pigeon

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 02:50:11 +0000

If you’re looking for a sport to watch this month, but feel that the Tour de France is just too mainstream, France’s pigeon racers hope you will give their sport a look.

The French pigeon fanciers’ association, which I believe is what anti-gay marriage protesters have been warning us about, is in the middle of running a pigeon-version of the Tour de France.

From Reuters:

“With this Tour de France, first and foremost we want people to get to know our sport,” said Jose de Sousa, president of the French pigeon fanciers’ federation, which boasts 800 clubs and 14,500 members. “In the future, we plan to contact the organisers of the Tour de France to set up departures at the same time,” Sousa said.

Releasing a ton of birds at the same time as cyclists sounds in no way like a bad idea. It’s not as if cyclists have any trouble avoiding animals.

Plus, ff I wanted to watch a sporting event where the competitors crapped all over the place, I would watch a Royals game.

Pigeons race for Tour de France top spot [Reuters]

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French cycling race interrupted by cow crash (Video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 00:27:13 +0000

The epidemic of crashes in races in France today continued during cycling’s Critérium du Dauphiné, a warm-up to the Tour de France.

Competitors had a major beef as a herd of cows brie-fly joined the race, failing to mooove out of the way as the bikes tried to get past. Several riders were chucked to the ground in the attempt to out-flank them.

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling [Deadspin]

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Bullfighter gored in the groin (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:15:34 +0000

Yup, my groin is cringing in horror, how about yours?

Down in Mexico, bullfighter Jose Tomas messed with the bull and got the horns. Four inches deep into his groin, to be exact. He’s expected to live, despite undergoing surgery at the bullring. No risk of infection with that, I’m sure.

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Boxer brothers arrested after fighting each other

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:58:21 +0000

Travis and Tarvis Simms are twin brothers who do everything together. Both got into boxing. And both allegedly beat each other up over the weekend after getting into a fight.

As if the punching each other wasn’t bad enough, a gun and a knife were involved, and Travis’ 10-year-old daughter was somehow bitten on the arm.

The most amusing part of the article is that it includes both fighters’ records. Travis was 26-1, with 19 knockouts, while his twin Tarvis was 24-0-1. Sadly, no further tale of the tape was included, and it is not known if this fight was included in their stats.

The 2nd most amusing part? Travis is also a city councilman. He was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, threatening, and third-degree assault, while his brother was charged with risk of injury to a minor, threatening, and third-degree assault.

Getting into a fight with your twin must be strange. Hopefully one of them said, “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” during the brawl.

Boxers Travis and Tarvis Simms arrested in Conn [MSNBC]

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Canadians refused to board Air Canada flight during Olympic gold medal game

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:29:56 +0000

We’ve all been there. You’re traveling somewhere & end up watching a game in an airport bar, only to find that it’s time to board and the game isn’t over yet.

Some Canadian travelers on an Air Canada flight from Vancouver unwisely booked their flights for during the gold medal match with the United States. I guess they didn’t think Canada would make it to the final.

As airline staff tried to get them on the plane, the fans refused to budge, staying to watch the game on TV instead.

“We incurred a flight delay for a reason Air Canada had not yet encountered in over 72 years of existence,” said chief executive Calin Rovinescu.

The airline indeed delayed the flight until Canada had won. This never would have happened in the United States, since the flight never would have been on time in the first place.

Air Canada learns that hockey trumps flying [Reuters]

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SNL ESPN Classic Women’s Curling – Sponsored by Gyne-Lotrimin (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:28:25 +0000

Last night, Saturday Night Live showed their love (?) of curling, which really was just an excuse to make bad Gyne-Lotrimin jokes while showing an ESPN Classic curling match from 1987.

While the “classic” match featured Finland and Paraguay, the only part of the SNL skit that was at all entertaining was Will Forte’s portrayal of Greg Stink, while Jason Sudeikis played the slightly-less dim Pete Twinkle. The constant Gyne-Lotrimin jokes definitely got old, especially since they weren’t funny in the first place.

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London 2012 Olympics venues to be built using recycled guns and knives

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 04:28:40 +0000

Each year, England’s police forces manage to gather an impressive pile of metal in the form of guns, knives, and old keys. Most of the weapons are confiscated off of criminals, while other metal comes from spent ammunition at police firing ranges.

Scotland Yard’s 2009 pile contained 52 tons of metal, much of which is being used as part of recycling projects. One of the major projects for the metal is in the construction of the 2012 Olympic site in Stratford, east London. The weapons will be melted down and reused in girders and other steel that is needed for the construction efforts.

Met Police spokeswoman Sarah Foster said: “We’re constantly looking for new ways to recycle and new markets for our recyclable materials, to conserve resources, save energy and money. As well as working together to make London safer, our staff and officers are playing their part in making London’s environment greener.”

Olympic venues made out of guns? Looks like Gilbert Arenas is going to be making a strong bid to be included on the 2012 Dream Team roster.

2012 Olympic buildings to be made from recycled guns, bullets and knives [Metro]
Met recycling guns for 2012 site [BBC]

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