Sports Rubbish » Golf

Golfer hits hole-in-one, wins weight in the best ham on Earth (photo)

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 23:05:22 +0000

You should have assumed the photo was going to be of the ham, who wants to look at a golfer?

Scotland’s Elliot Saltman may have missed the cut at this weekend’s Madrid Masters, but his parting gift is so much more magnificent.

On Friday, Saltman hit a hole-in-one on the 204-yard third hole, earning himself his weight in ham. But not just any ham. Cured Spanish ham. Elliot Saltman is going home with 240 pounds of jamón ibérico, which is one of the most heavenly pork products on Earth.

“This is going to last me until next Christmas, never mind this one,” Saltman told Reuters. “I’ve been trying to lose some weight but I’m glad now I’ve not lost that much.”

I went to Spain in February, and I’ll tell you that jamón ibérico is truly one of the finest foods on the planet. Prosciutto is great, and bacon is bacon, but I would not only pick jamón ibérico first, I would pick it second and third as well.

And yes, I just wrote a long essay about various, glorious pig parts on Yom Kippur. You can guess how observant of a Jew I am.

Saltman brings home the bacon in Madrid [Reuters]

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Concession cart hold up leads to golf cart chase

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 05:18:40 +0000

On Thursday, Haggin Oaks golf course in Sacramento, California was the scene of the slowest sports-related chase not involving O.J. Simpson.

According to the Sacramento Police Department, Jim Aldridge (pictured) held up a cart that was selling concessions at the 10th hole. Four golfers who saw the hold up began to chase after him in their golf cart, so Aldridge attempted to make a getaway in the concession cart. When Aldridge began firing a gun, the golfers gave up their pursuit, but police were able to arrest him a short time later, according to spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong.

Now I’m no expert on robbing people, but I would imagine that if I were to do such a thing, I would first pick a target that had more than a few dollars and some bottles of water, then I’d figure out an escape method that is faster than a golf cart. I also wouldn’t live in Sacramento, but that’s an entirely different matter.

Armed robbery leads to chase in golf carts at Haggin Oaks [The Sacramento Bee]

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Jim Nantz on Tiger Woods: Somehow managed a 69 out of all of this (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:06:18 +0000

For 72 holes, Jim Nantz and the other CBS commentators successfully managed to tiptoe around Tiger Woods’ sex issues. The final wrap-up, now that’s a different matter. As the Masters came to a close just now, Jim Nantz had this to say about Tiger Woods’ final round 69.

“Somehow managed a 69 out of all of this”

Indeed. Of all the things to say about all of the players in the field, it would figure that Tiger Woods would be the one to shoot a 69 and prompt this response. I told you Jim Nantz had a dirty mind.

Congrats to Phil Mickelson on his 3rd Masters green jacket & best of luck to his family with everything they are dealing with right now.

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SNL Tiger Woods at The Masters (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 17:42:39 +0000

Last night’s episode of SNL was hosted by Tina Fey (that dress during the monologue… yes!). The show started off strongly with an early CBS golf sketch featuring Jason Sudeikis as Jim Nantz, Bill Hader as Nick Faldo, and Tina Fey as Tiger Woods expert Ashlyn St. Cloud.

Watch the Masters video from Saturday Night Live below:

Kenan Thompson also makes an appearance as Tiger Woods, as part of a spoof of the Nike ad with Earl Woods.

The highlight was of the sketch was Ashlyn St. Cloud explaining a “dogleg” to Jim Nantz. You just know that guy’s up for some crazy stuff.

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Tiger Woods swears – “Tiger Woods, You Suck” (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 21:23:25 +0000

Tiger Woods is human. He hits bad shots & he swears. Unlike the rest of us though, he has CBS microphones on him that are eager to pick up his every word like they are waitresses at a diner.

During today’s round at the Masters 2010, Tiger hit a bad shot on the 6th hole, leading to a bogey. After he unleashed his shot, Tiger then released a third-person berating of himself.

“Tiger Woods, you suck!” – and then a loud expletive. Of course, if you haven’t been offended by the actions of Tiger Woods off of the golf course, by this point some on-air swearing isn’t going to be much of an issue with you.

HT: Fanhouse

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Putting green bra combines two things men enjoy

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:27:38 +0000

The latest in golf technology combines a valuable tool for golf practice, the portable putting green, and an added bonus: a support undergarment for women.

The golf bra can be easily removed any time the wearer wants to practice some topless golf. A 1.5-meter-long felt putting green unfurls, and the cups act as, well, cups.

But wait, there’s more! Not only does the bra function as a putting mat, it even has room for ball storage and comes with a detachable skirt that says “Be Quiet,” presumably to deter the advances of lecherous onlookers.

The bra itself is not quiet, as it plays a recorded message saying “Nice shot” when a putt is sank.

This wacky invention was dreamed up by the Japanese, of course. May you continue to produce such wondrous technology.

To see a video of the “Nice Cup In Bra” in action, see below:

Bra doubles as golf putting mat [Pink Tentacle]
Japanese Putting Bra Lets You Golf Into Lingerie [Gizmodo]

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Steve Carell Slated To Star In Movie Based On Rick Reilly Book

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:44:23 +0000

Are you craving a comedy starring Steve Carell that is based on a golf book by Rick Reilly? No? Well, you’re getting it anyway.

Warner Brothers has acquired the rights to “Missing Links,” which is based on Rick Reilly’s 1997 book about golfers ~~attempting to prove the theory of evolution~~ hoping to move from their crappy public course to a ritzy private course. Carell is currently attached to star in the film and will also produce.

On a scale of “Caddyshack II” to “Caddyshack,” let’s preliminarily place “Missing Links” somewhere around “The Legend of Bagger Vance.”

Steve Carell to do a Tiger Woods (Sort of) [Risky Business]

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Golfer Gets Arm Eaten By Alligator

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:00:46 +0000

If I ever went golfing in an area where alligators were present, you can be certain that I would be looking around constantly to see if there was a gator about to eat me. It wouldn’t matter if I was near a water hazard or at the bar, I’ve got my head on a swivel.

But some souls are more courageous than I am, like an unnamed 77-year-old man at Fripp Island, South Carolina’s Ocean Creek Golf Course, who bent down to pick up a golf ball but instead had his arm grabbed by a 10-foot alligator.

The man somehow missed seeing the giant gator that was waiting to eat him and was dragged to a nearby pond, where the animal engaged in a series of death rolls that tore the man’s arm off.

The golfer was flown to the hospital, with his arm following close behind in a cooler after wildlife control killed the alligator and recovered it. His condition is unknown.

Fripp Island golfer loses arm to alligator [The Island Packet]

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Golfer Makes $1 Million Hole-In-One At The Mark Eaton Celebrity Classic: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:58:09 +0000

What’s better than getting a hole-in-one? Hitting one and making $1 million in the process.

What’s better than getting $1 million for hitting a hole-in-one? Doing so and having Mark Eaton involved somehow.

Jason Hargett is a million dollars richer after getting this hole-in-one at the Mark Eaton Celebrity Golf Classic in Utah, or one dollar for every inch of Eaton’s height.

Wait A Second: Did Golf Just Get Exciting? [Best Week Ever]

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Sergio Garcia Hits Guy In The Head: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 21:12:51 +0000

Note to all golf fans: just because you’re watching professionals when you’re at an event doesn’t mean that every shot they take is going to be a good one, so you might want to pay attention.

This spectator at the World Golf Championships Bridgestone Invitational wasn’t looking toward the tee, so Sergio Garcia nailed him right in the head. That will teach him to pay attention next time. Of course, if Sergio was playing slowly again, the man had probably just fallen asleep.

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