Sports Rubbish » Golf

Jim Nantz on Tiger Woods: Somehow managed a 69 out of all of this (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:06:18 +0000

For 72 holes, Jim Nantz and the other CBS commentators successfully managed to tiptoe around Tiger Woods’ sex issues. The final wrap-up, now that’s a different matter. As the Masters came to a close just now, Jim Nantz had this to say about Tiger Woods’ final round 69.

“Somehow managed a 69 out of all of this”

Indeed. Of all the things to say about all of the players in the field, it would figure that Tiger Woods would be the one to shoot a 69 and prompt this response. I told you Jim Nantz had a dirty mind.

Congrats to Phil Mickelson on his 3rd Masters green jacket & best of luck to his family with everything they are dealing with right now.

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SNL Tiger Woods at The Masters (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 17:42:39 +0000

Last night’s episode of SNL was hosted by Tina Fey (that dress during the monologue… yes!). The show started off strongly with an early CBS golf sketch featuring Jason Sudeikis as Jim Nantz, Bill Hader as Nick Faldo, and Tina Fey as Tiger Woods expert Ashlyn St. Cloud.

Watch the Masters video from Saturday Night Live below:

Kenan Thompson also makes an appearance as Tiger Woods, as part of a spoof of the Nike ad with Earl Woods.

The highlight was of the sketch was Ashlyn St. Cloud explaining a “dogleg” to Jim Nantz. You just know that guy’s up for some crazy stuff.

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Tiger Woods swears – “Tiger Woods, You Suck” (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 21:23:25 +0000

Tiger Woods is human. He hits bad shots & he swears. Unlike the rest of us though, he has CBS microphones on him that are eager to pick up his every word like they are waitresses at a diner.

During today’s round at the Masters 2010, Tiger hit a bad shot on the 6th hole, leading to a bogey. After he unleashed his shot, Tiger then released a third-person berating of himself.

“Tiger Woods, you suck!” – and then a loud expletive. Of course, if you haven’t been offended by the actions of Tiger Woods off of the golf course, by this point some on-air swearing isn’t going to be much of an issue with you.

HT: Fanhouse

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Putting green bra combines two things men enjoy

Jonathan Sacks — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:27:38 +0000

The latest in golf technology combines a valuable tool for golf practice, the portable putting green, and an added bonus: a support undergarment for women.

The golf bra can be easily removed any time the wearer wants to practice some topless golf. A 1.5-meter-long felt putting green unfurls, and the cups act as, well, cups.

But wait, there’s more! Not only does the bra function as a putting mat, it even has room for ball storage and comes with a detachable skirt that says “Be Quiet,” presumably to deter the advances of lecherous onlookers.

The bra itself is not quiet, as it plays a recorded message saying “Nice shot” when a putt is sank.

This wacky invention was dreamed up by the Japanese, of course. May you continue to produce such wondrous technology.

To see a video of the “Nice Cup In Bra” in action, see below:

Bra doubles as golf putting mat [Pink Tentacle]
Japanese Putting Bra Lets You Golf Into Lingerie [Gizmodo]

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Steve Carell Slated To Star In Movie Based On Rick Reilly Book

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:44:23 +0000

Are you craving a comedy starring Steve Carell that is based on a golf book by Rick Reilly? No? Well, you’re getting it anyway.

Warner Brothers has acquired the rights to “Missing Links,” which is based on Rick Reilly’s 1997 book about golfers ~~attempting to prove the theory of evolution~~ hoping to move from their crappy public course to a ritzy private course. Carell is currently attached to star in the film and will also produce.

On a scale of “Caddyshack II” to “Caddyshack,” let’s preliminarily place “Missing Links” somewhere around “The Legend of Bagger Vance.”

Steve Carell to do a Tiger Woods (Sort of) [Risky Business]

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Golfer Gets Arm Eaten By Alligator

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:00:46 +0000

If I ever went golfing in an area where alligators were present, you can be certain that I would be looking around constantly to see if there was a gator about to eat me. It wouldn’t matter if I was near a water hazard or at the bar, I’ve got my head on a swivel.

But some souls are more courageous than I am, like an unnamed 77-year-old man at Fripp Island, South Carolina’s Ocean Creek Golf Course, who bent down to pick up a golf ball but instead had his arm grabbed by a 10-foot alligator.

The man somehow missed seeing the giant gator that was waiting to eat him and was dragged to a nearby pond, where the animal engaged in a series of death rolls that tore the man’s arm off.

The golfer was flown to the hospital, with his arm following close behind in a cooler after wildlife control killed the alligator and recovered it. His condition is unknown.

Fripp Island golfer loses arm to alligator [The Island Packet]

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Golfer Makes $1 Million Hole-In-One At The Mark Eaton Celebrity Classic: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:58:09 +0000

What’s better than getting a hole-in-one? Hitting one and making $1 million in the process.

What’s better than getting $1 million for hitting a hole-in-one? Doing so and having Mark Eaton involved somehow.

Jason Hargett is a million dollars richer after getting this hole-in-one at the Mark Eaton Celebrity Golf Classic in Utah, or one dollar for every inch of Eaton’s height.

Wait A Second: Did Golf Just Get Exciting? [Best Week Ever]

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Sergio Garcia Hits Guy In The Head: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 21:12:51 +0000

Note to all golf fans: just because you’re watching professionals when you’re at an event doesn’t mean that every shot they take is going to be a good one, so you might want to pay attention.

This spectator at the World Golf Championships Bridgestone Invitational wasn’t looking toward the tee, so Sergio Garcia nailed him right in the head. That will teach him to pay attention next time. Of course, if Sergio was playing slowly again, the man had probably just fallen asleep.

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Tiger Woods Farts His Way To Yet Another Win

Jonathan Sacks — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:14:03 +0000

When you’re Tiger Woods, you can do pretty much anything on the course and get away with it, even fart.

During the final round of today’s Buick Open, Tiger let his rear end roar on the last hole. Between the sound and his need to lift his leg during the fart, it must have been a good one.

For all of the etiquette rules that golf has, you’d think they’d have something in there about not farting at the 18th hole. Save those shenanigans for the 19th or your victory speech.

Tiger Woods Wins, Farts, Laughs [Zoner Sports]
Tiger Woods Enjoys A Good Fart [Awful Announcing]

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Dumb Smuggler Gets Caught With Cocaine In Golf Clubs

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:49:59 +0000

Here’s a tip for all you drug smugglers out there. If you’re going to try and bring cocaine through customs by concealing it in sporting equipment, you might want to know something about the sport.

Kayti Ella Dryer went on holiday from England to Jamaica, and when she returned, she decided to bring home a kilo of coke hidden inside some golf clubs as a souvenir.

Unfortunately for Kayti, a customs agent asked her what her golf handicap was. The bright girl thought she was being asked if she had a disability. Her inability to answer other golf questions made the agent even more suspicious, and a search of the golf clubs revealed £83,000-worth of cocaine.

She’ll be spending 4 years in jail for her lack of golf knowledge. Perhaps the prison will have a library so she can read up on the sport for her next attempt.

Drug mule balls up her golf quiz [The Sun]

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