Sports Rubbish » MLB

Alleged new Miami Marlins logo looks rather suggestive (photo)

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 22:56:00 +0000

Does anyone else see a woman, spread-eagled, giving the finger?

That’s certainly one way to sell baseball in Miami.

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Gary Neville’s first pitch at White Sox game shows why soccer players don’t use their hands [Video]

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 18:59:04 +0000

Manchester United ambassador Gary Neville visited Chicago on Thursday to promote Man U’s upcoming tour of the United States. Neville threw out the first pitch at U.S. Cellular Field prior to the game between the White Sox and A’s.

And throw it he did, with such gusto that would send Rick Ankiel into a fetal position, shivering.

While Neville did nearly injure several women standing near the backstop, he did at least get his toss in the same area code as home plate. And yes, this means it’s time to watch the legendary ceremonial first pitch from the Mayor of Cincinnati, Mark Mallory.

Gary Neville threw an awful first pitch at a White Sox game [Dirty Tackle]

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Idea for spicing up the All-Star Game: Mexican drug shootout

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 05:58:48 +0000

While Major League Baseball’s All-Stars were having their snoozefest in Anaheim, another baseball league was having much more interesting action to the south.

Down in Mexico on Sunday, a game between Reynosa Broncos and the Monterrey Sultans was stopped by gunfire from within the stands. As fans and players ran for cover, groups of gunmen had a firefight. Nobody was injured. It’s not known whether or not the shootout had anything to do with drugs, but given the increased violence in Mexico as of late, it is a reasonable assumption.

Officials made the decision to reschedule the game, presumably for a night where the promotion isn’t “Bring Your Gun To The Ballpark” Day.

Mexican baseball league game suspended amid gunfire [BBC]

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Phillies fan runs on field, gets tased (video)

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 04 May 2010 03:20:58 +0000

Oh, Philadelphia, thank you for never ceasing to supply us with more fans to mock.

This guy ran on to the field during tonight’s game between the Phillies and Cardinals. Normally, security guards just chase people down and tackle them, but apparently the personnel at Citizens Bank Park have instructions to use heavier force.

Instead of tackling the fan on the field, one security guard tased him instead.

This bad video of the tasing incident comes courtesy of The700Level:

Unfortunately, this brutal statement might keep other idiots from running on the field, which is truly a sad day in the history of baseball. If you can’t puke on fans without getting arrested, and if you can’t run on the field without getting tasered, how are you supposed to have fun at a Phillies game?

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Edwin Encarnacion starts off the New Year by getting shot in the face by fireworks

Jonathan Sacks — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:25:37 +0000

Edwin Encarnacion of the Toronto Blue Jays couldn’t hit an airplane hangar with a semi-truck last season, but he kicked off 2010 by making solid contact. Too bad for him it was his face making contact with fireworks that had been shot off by his brother.

The Encarnacion family was ringing in the New Year in the Dominican Republic, when Edwin’s brother fired a firecracker that veered to the side instead of up into the air, nailing Edwin in the face.

The explosive hit the infielder in the jaw and exploded near his mouth. Encarnacion sustained burns, but avoided any serious injury.

“Thank God everything is OK with my face. I don’t have any fractures or serious injuries and I won’t need any kind of surgery,” Encarnacion told ESPNdeportes.com.

“The doctors say that I’ll have to spend one week out of the sun, but that I’ll be able to work out without any problems in two weeks,” Encarnacion said.

Well, no problems aside from his crappy hitting.

This isn’t Edwin Encarnacion in the video below, but it might as well be.

Firework explodes near infielder’s face [ESPN]
Fireworks Explode in Edwin Encarnacion’s Face [The Big Lead]

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Kate Hudson refuses to confirm or deny A-Rod centaur rumor: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:40:04 +0000

MTV Shows

If there were rumors flying about that your boyfriend, Alex Rodriguez, has a painting of himself as a centaur in his bedroom, you’d probably want to deny those rumors to help save some of his dignity, right?

Not Kate Hudson.

When MTV asked her about the painting during an interview, she refused to give an answer.

HUDSON: That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me.
MTV GUY: You’re not answering the question.
HUDSON: I would never indulge in something so ridiculous.
MTV GUY: This was in a reputable magazine. …Us Weekly. (laughs)
HUDSON: That’s… No. I don’t “indulge” in those types of stories. As humorous as you might think they are.

And thus, the centaur rumors will persist. The real question is, how will A-Rod’s World Series ring be depicted on the centaur? Will it go on as a bracelet around a hoof? Or will he hold it in his teeth?

KATE HUDSON IS HUMORLESS LIKE HER MOVIES [Film Drunk]

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Tim Lincecum caught with pot after traffic stop in Washington

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:30:14 +0000

A long-haired, laid-back, goofy-looking guy who lives in San Francisco getting caught with weed might be the least surprising news story in the world.

Nevertheless, Cy Young award winner and apparent marijuana-enthusiast Tim Lincecum is in a bit of trouble after getting pulled over for speeding in Washington on October 30th.

When Lincecum rolled down his window to speak to the police officer, out rolled a cloud of smoke. The officer asked him to produce the weed, and he complied, handing over a pipe and 3.3 grams of marijuana.

Since it was such a small amount, Lincecum will only face misdemeanor possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia use charges, rather than a felony count.

But while he’ll have to deal with these charges in Washington, his deity status in San Francisco has been secured. There’s no better way to endear yourself to the locals than to smoke some weed. Oh yeah, being a damn good pitcher helps too.

Pot found in star pitcher’s car during I-5 speed stop [Columbian]

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Vicente Padilla shot by his bodyguard

Jonathan Sacks — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:03:30 +0000

While Vicente Padilla will be looking for a new team as a free agent this winter, his bodyguard might want to start looking for a new line of work entirely.

Reports are still unclear, but according to translations via Diamond Notes, Padilla was accidentally shot by his bodyguard while at a shooting range in Nicaragua.

Padilla was not seriously hurt and has already left the hospital. And unless there are politicians in Nicaragua who want to make an example of him (and his bodyguard), it’s unlikely that we’ll hear any more of this.

Still, when you’re kicking off free agency, you want potential employers to be talking about your pitching, not about you getting Plaxico’d by the guy who is supposedly protecting you from harm.

Update: Reports are now saying that Padilla shot himself. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse. Is it true, or is he just taking a bullet for his poor bodyguard?

Reports: Dodgers pitcher Vicente Padilla shot in leg [Diamond Notes]
Padilla accidentally shot [El Nuevo Diario]
Padilla accidentally shoots himself in leg [Dodgers.com]

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The Daily Show: Clash of the Cretins

Jonathan Sacks — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:29:15 +0000

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

Clash of the Cretins

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

With New York and Philadelphia squaring off in both the World Series and NFL on Sunday, The Daily Show sent Jason Jones and John Oliver to Philly to determine which city has the douchiest fans.

Yankees and Giants? Or Phillies and Eagles? Both teams had some classy fans in attendance, but the winner? Philadelphia. Of course, you already knew that.

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Phillies Fans Try To Set Guy In A Tree On Fire With Roman Candles: Video

Jonathan Sacks — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 06:50:02 +0000

Philadelphia Phillies fans sure are trying to remove themselves from the gene pool while celebrating going to the World Series, aren’t they?

First, we had the dancing man on the taxi who got swept by gravity in 4 games. Now, here’s a Phillies fan who will not let go of this tree, even if his life depends on it. And really, his life depended on it.

As the celebration roared below him, his fellow Phillies fans decided he made a fantastic target for fireworks.

I don’t know whether to applaud his perseverance for not dropping from the tree while under heavy fire, or to make fun of him for not taking an easy route to safety as he was bombarded with roman candles, so let’s just go with both.

Sir, good job not falling from that tree, but damn, you are a dumbass for letting complete strangers try to set you on fire.

[My Fox Philly]

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