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Sepp Blatter Invites Placido Domingo & Henry Kissinger To Help FIFA

Beleaguered FIFA President Sepp Blatter knows he has an image problem. So who better to call on to help him out than Placido Domingo and Henry Kissinger?

The details of Sepp Blatter’s announcement, from The Guardian:

“These gentlemen are more or less advisers, they are not the experts but advisers and what they should be also is the kind of council of wisdom which my executive committee would not like because they think they are the council of wisdom, but I have also contacted the Spanish singer,” he told CNN, before appealing to his interviewer to recall the name.

Prompted, Blatter continued: “Plácido Domingo will be part … he is happy, he is proud that he is part … as [Dr Henry] Kissinger also! People say he is an old man but he is a wise man.”

Perhaps Blatter thinks that if he can’t remember a person’s name, then that person can’t be bribed. As for Kissinger, he does have past experience with bloated, pompous soccer organizations, as he once served on the Board of Directors for the North American Soccer League.

While Domingo and Kissinger have not yet officially signed on to be part of the Council of the Wise, let’s look into the crystal ball to see some of their suggestions to improve FIFA:

  • Future World Cup host countries will be determined through an opera singing competition called “Aria Idol”. Luciano Pavarotti mysteriously becomes a citizen of Qatar.
  • All national representatives who speak out against FIFA will “disappear”, especially if they are from South America.
  • The offside rule will be relaxed during an upcoming friendly. During the match, all shots sent into Cambodian territory by the United States will be deemed onside.
  • Goal line technology will still not be installed.

Sepp Blatter wants singer Plácido Domingo to join Fifa’s wise men [The Guardian]

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