Robin van Persie to have a placenta rubbed on his injured ankle
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Arsenal striker Robin van Persie must be pretty desperate to return to the pitch after tearing ligaments in his ankle.
In order to speed up his recovery, Van Persie will be having a placenta rubbed on the injury.
The treatment allegedly worked for one soccer player, though in the absence of further medical studies, let’s chalk that up to a coincidence. Still, van Persie is undeterred.
Van Persie: “I will fly to the Balkans to meet with a female doctor who helped [PSV Eindhoven midfielder] Danko Lazovic. She is vague about her methods but I know she massages you using fluid from a placenta. I am going to try. It cannot hurt and, if it helps, it helps. I have been in contact with Arsenal physiotherapists and they have let me do it.”
Who needs science when you can just have some random Serbian woman rub a placenta on your injury? Arsenal must be trusting if they’re going to let their star go to a woman who is “vague about her methods,” but then again, it’s not as if doing this could really make the injury any worse. It will just make Robin van Persie look like an nut.
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