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Cranky Neighbor Keeps Football, Bites Parent’s Lips

bite-meAnother hour, another case of grown-ups setting a positive example for the kids.

While some teenagers were tossing around a football in the street in in Clinton Township, Michigan, near Detroit, the ball landed on Daniel Allen’s lawn. Instead of being happy that children were outside engaging in physical activity and not sitting on their fat asses, the 44-year-old Allen took the ball and refused to give it back, like someone 1/10th his age would do.

The kids sent a parent over to get the ball back, and what happened next shocked everyone watching. As the two men got closer, Allen bit right through the other man’s lips.

The victim suffered deep lacerations on both of his lips, while Allen has been charged with assault with intent to maim, which could carry a 10-year sentence.

The silver lining to this story is that Daniel Allen was taken first in yesterday’s Zombie Football League draft. Sure, he didn’t get to the man’s brains this time, but he’s got a tremendous upside.

Man accused of biting neighbor on the mouth [The Macomb Daily]

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