Kyle Dennis, the head basketball coach at Capital High School in Boise, Idaho was arrested on Monday following complaints of obscene conduct. The obscene conduct? Allegedly fondling himself at the local Costco and Walmart.

Court documents said that Dennis “knowingly engaged in obscene conduct…by manipulating his penis with his hands while walking around a Costco store with an erection.”

Look, the free samples at Costco are great and all, but they’re not so fantastic that it’s worth doing that over. Their membership might come with certain privileges, but going around the place touching yourself is not one of them.

And about that hair? Let’s just say we’ve all seen There’s Something About Mary.

Coach charged with obscene conduct at Costco [KBCI]
High School Basketball Coach Caught “Double Dribbling” at Costco [Last Angry Fan]
HEY, HS COACH AT COSTCO: YOU JACKIN’ IT? [With Leather]

Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS feed or get Sports Rubbish in your inbox every day!

• High School Lacrosse Coach Charged With Selling Cocaine
• What’s the Capital of Thailand?
• Woman Bites Security Guard at Long Island, New York High School Basketball Game
• Popeye Jones gets a DUI, forgets to eat spinach before taking on police
• Video: High School Basketball Fight In Alabama – Full Version With Commentary