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Fifth Third Burger Is Most Disgusting Ballpark Food Ever, Sadly Does Not Come With Commemorative Tote Bag


Minor League teams always have to be creative to stand out, and the West Michigan Whitecaps will be taking away this year’s award for Most Creative Ballpark Food Item.

Creative, however, does not mean appetizing.

Meet the Fifth Third Burger, sponsored by the bank Fifth Third, whose stock rose 11.74% today. Wall Street apparently loves giant hamburgers.

The Fifth Third Burger contains: 5/3 lbs (1.66) of beef with lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos.

In case you were curious just how unhealthy this burger is, the total is around 4889 calories. But you can probably cut that down to 4789 if you skip the mayo.

Calorie 4889 244%
Total Fat 299g 460%
Sat. Fat 199g 597%
Cholesterol 744mg 248%
Sodium 10,887mg 454%
Total Carbs 354g 118%
Protein 198g 105%

They may call it the Fifth Third Burger, but the Fifth Turd Burger might be more appropriate given the number of times those who attempt to eat it will end up in the bathroom.

Upon hearing about this monstrosity, one thing comes to mind: Taco Town from Saturday Night Live.

Sure, the Fifth Third Burger might be huge & comes with a t-shirt if you finish it off, but does it come in its own commemorative tote bag? That’s what I thought.

1.66666667 Pounds [Ben's Biz Blog]
Minor League Concession Item Of The Year [Sports Biz]

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