Is There A Vitamin Water Curse?
You’ve heard of the Madden Curse and the Chunky Soup Curse. But there is a new curse out there that is taking its toll on NFL stars and other athletes: The Vitamin Water Curse.
Glaceau, maker of Vitamin Water, has been using sports stars to promote their product for the past few years, building up an impressive stable of endorsing athletes and putting them in ads like the one above. Even more impressive, however, is the list of Vitamin Water athletes who have fallen on hard times since endorsing the product.
Here are just 10 of the victims of the Vitamin Water Curse so far:
1. Tom Brady – Patriots QB Tom Brady tried to avoid the curse by endorsing Vitamin Water’s sister product, Smart Water. The curse was the smart one though, and as you well know, Brady is now out for the season after tearing the ACL & MCL in his left knee.
2. Alex Smith – Can water make you suck? Apparently so. The curse made the Niners’ Alex Smith not only lose his starting job, but it also made his shoulder brittle. Judging by his Vitamin Water ad photo, it also seems to make you drunk, so at least he has that going for him.
3. David Ortiz – Big Papi has struggled to hit for power this season after partially tearing a tendon sheath in his wrist in May, possibly while playing badminton. His .265 batting average is also his lowest since 2001. So far it hasn’t kept the Red Sox out of a playoff spot, but they certainly would feel much better about their World Series chances if Ortiz was healthy.
4. Brian Urlacher – Ortiz’s badminton partner, Brian Urlacher, has had injuries as well. Last season, Urlacher struggled with a back injury & also had to suffer through the pain of watching Rex Grossman play.
5. Kasey Kahne – Kahne was billed as NASCAR’s newest star after finishing 8th in the points in 2006. After plummeting to 19th in the final standings last year, he missed out on making the Chase once again this year.
6. Gilbert Arenas – Agent Zero tore his MCL near the end of the 2006-07 NBA season. Knee injuries further derailed his year last season, as he played in only a few games. He still got a $111 million contract in the off-season, so the Wizards management might be the ones who are being cursed here.
7. Elton Brand – Brand ruptured his Achillies, missing most of last season. He also played for the Clippers, so there’s no more to add about the disappointments in his life.
8. Shawn Marion – Marion was traded from a Suns team that was a title contender to the woeful Heat, then suffered through injuries.
10. 50 Cent - The curse is so strong that it got 50 shot long before he even endorsed their drinks. Kanye West outsold Mr. Cent in their head-to-head contest. Of course, 50 was a key investor in the company and reportedly made $400 million when it was sold to Coca Cola, so he did manage to profit off of everyone else being cursed. If you were looking for an athlete here instead of a rapper, Donovan McNabb has also been involved with Vitaminwater. Enough said.
There are still a few more sports stars out there who haven’t been affected by this dreadful curse yet, but if you have Adrian Peterson or LaDainian Tomlinson on your fantasy team, don’t be surprised when they both blow out their knees next week.
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