In a case currently going through the Scottish legal system, jockey Jenny Riding admitted to attacking soldier Stewart McEwan with a glass after he swore at her and called her a smackhead.

Clearly it was just a misunderstanding – she just thought he said “smack me in the head repeatedly with a pint glass” and was merely complying with his request.

Not surprisingly, the incident was caused by both parties having had a few too many drinks. Of course, for a jockey with a Napoleon complex, a few too many = any.

If you have noticed by this point what this jockey’s name is, you are not the only one. Her attorney made sure everyone was aware, saying “She is a jockey – which is not a joke given her surname.” Okay then, so she’s not using the old “pretend I’m a jockey so I can glass people whenever I want” defense. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Lawyer Guy.

So there’s your lesson for the day: Never call a female jockey a smackhead, or else she might just attack you with a glass. Anybody who watches The Simpsons knows those jockeys are not to be messed with.

Jockey severely injured soldier (BBC News Scotland)

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